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dreaded, the Land of Fordor. But a hundred blond riders on fighting sheep had
cut them off and now the narcs feverishly prepared for the attack they knew
would come with the first rays of the sun.
Pepsi received another kick and then heard a second narcvoice speak to the
first.
"Mukluk pushkin, boggie-grag babushka lefrak!" rasped the deeper voice, which
Pepsi recognized as that of Goulash, the leader of Serutan's narcs, who
accompanied the party of Sorhed's larger, more well-equipped henchmen.
"Gorboduc khosla!" snapped the larger narc, who returned his attention to the
frightened boggies. Smiling fiendishly, he drew his curved grasswhip and
laughed. "Bet youse guys would give an arm an' a leg t' get outta here."
He raised his weapon above his neckless head with mock savagery and reveled in
the boggies' cringing and protestation.
"I, Goulash, shall have th' pleasure of takin' youse groundhogs t' th'
great Serutan hisself, master of the fighting Ohmahah, Nastiest of the Nasty
and Bearer of the Sacred White Rock, soon t' be th' boss of alla Lower Middle
Earth!"
Suddenly a hamfisted blow from behind sent the narc spinning like a lathe.
"I'll give _you_ boss of alla Lower Middle Earth!" spat a louder, deeper
voice.
Moxie and Pepsi looked up to see a gigantic bull narc, well over seven feet
and four hundred pounds if a gram. Towering over the sprawled narc, the
monster pointed arrogantly to the red nose emblazoned on his own chest. It was
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Karsh of the fighting Otto-wah, leader of Sorhed's contingent, who had laid
Goulash low.
"I'll boss of alla Lower Middle Earth _you!_" he reiterated. Goulash sprang to
heavily shod feet and made an obscene gesture at Karsh.
"Slushfund tietack kierkegaard!" he screamed, stamping in anger before the
larger narc.
"Ersatz!" bellowed Karsh as he angrily drew his four-foot snickersnee and
deftly trimmed Goulash's fingernails to the elbow. The smaller narc scampered
off to retrieve his arm, cursing a blue streak, which was already lapping at
the ooze.
"Now," said Karsh, turning back to the boggies, "them bleaters is gonna jump
us at dawn, so's I want the lowdown on this Magic Ring _right now!_"
Reaching into a large leather bag, the narc withdrew an armful of shiny
instruments and arrayed them on the ground in front of Pepsi and Moxie. There
before them were a large bullwhip, a thumbscrew, a cat-o'nine-tails, a rubber
hose, two blackjacks, an assortment of surgical knives, and a portable hibachi
with two red-glowing branding irons.
"I got ways t' make ya sing like canaries," he chuckled, stirring the hot
coals with his long index finger. "Youse each can have one from column A
and two from column B. Har har har!"
"Har har har," said Pepsi.
"Mercy!" yupped Moxie.
"Aw, come on, youse guys," said Karsh, selecting an iron with the triple-bar
"S" of Sorhed, "let me have a little fun before y' talk."
"No, please!" said Moxie.
"Who wants it first?" laughed the cruel narc.
"Him!" chorused the boggies, indicating each other.
"Ho ho!" chortled the narc as he stood over Moxie like some housewife sizing
up a kielbasa. He raised the flaming iron and Moxie screeched at the sound of
a blow. But when he opened his eyes again, his torturer was still standing
above him, looking oddly different in expression. It was then that the boggie
noticed that his head was missing. The body collapsed like a punctured whoopee
cushion, and over it, triumphant, was the leering figure of
Goulash. He held a blade in his good hand of the type usually employed on
troublesome hamhocks.
"Last taps! Gotcha last!" he cried, hopping from one foot to the other with
glee. "And now," he hissed in the boggies' faces, "my Master Serutan desires
the whereabouts of th' Ring!" He drop-kicked Karsh's noggin a good twenty
yards for emphasis.
"Ring, ring?" said Pepsi. "You know anything about a ring, Moxie?"
"Not unless you mean my vaccination scar," said Moxie.
"Come on, come on!" Goulash urged, slightly singeing the hair on Pepsi's right
big toe.
"Okay, okay," sobbed Pepsi. "Untie me and I'll draw you a map."
Goulash agreed to this in his greedy haste and loosened the bonds around
Pepsi's arms and legs.
"Now bring the torch nearer so we can see," said the boggie. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]