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I carried him to the passenger side and managed to open the door without
dropping him. I loaded him in and buckled his seat belt. His breathing was shallow and
slow, which creeped me out.
I went back to the driver s side and got in, buckling my seat belt.
I looked around for his student card and found it on top of a plastic bag in the well
of the seat behind me. I could see through the bag and made out several roles of colorful
electrical tape.
I put my hand on the gear shift. He put his hand on top of mine.
 Are you going to let me drive, or do I have to tie your hands? I asked.
My heart sped up just saying it, and I wasn t sure I meant it as a threat so much as
a suggestion.
He was still leaning against the back of the seat, his head lolling toward me as
though even the thought of moving was exhausting. He didn t take his hand off mine.
His palm was cool and dry. My hand was hot and sweaty as fuck.  You have a show.
 Fuck the show, I said.
And I meant it.
 Your interview 
 Can be rescheduled. Take your hand away. Let me drive.
212 J.A. Rock
 Jesse&  I started to pull my hand out from under his, but he pushed down
harder.  No. I m not letting you do this.
 Not your choice.
I gave a mighty tug and freed my hand. Then I reached into the back and grabbed
the bag of electrical tape. I took out two rolls, one red and one black.
I looked at him. He was studying me with what looked like a sort of calm
fascination, but there was panic behind the calm.  Can you keep your hands to
yourself? I asked.  Or do I need to tie them?
Silence.
 Hold out your hands.
He hesitated only a second. Then he held them out to me.
I pressed the pale undersides of his arms together and started winding the red
tape around his wrists. He was still shaking but seemed to get steadier as I worked. I
tore off the red tape and got started with the black, creating an inelegant crisscross
pattern that embarrassed me the same way it embarrassed me to let Sim see how awful
I was at decorating Hula-Hoops.
 There, I said, taking his hands and setting them in his lap.  Too tight?
He shook his head, staring at the tape around his wrists.
 Now, let s get out of here.
In the last seven minutes I d run up to a car, opened the driver s door, wrestled
the driver, carried his limp body around to the passenger side, gotten behind the wheel,
and bound my new captive s hands with electrical tape. All this was not going to look
good on a security reel.
I put the car in drive, pulled up to the barrier, and waved my card at the box.
It beeped, and the barrier went up.
 All right, I said when we were past the gate.  Which way?
* * * *
Calling the Show 213
Sim didn t speak for the first hour. Neither did I, though I was uncomfortable with
the silence and felt it might be productive to discuss the details of our recent quarrel so
that I might apologize and absolve myself of guilt.
 Hungry? I asked.  We re about to pass an Arby s. I love Arby s. It s one of the
only fast-food places I like. I glanced at him.  You like Arby s?
 I m not hungry.
 I m gonna stop and get a sandwich.
I ordered two sandwiches.
And two Cokes and two things of curly fries.
He was going to get hungry eventually.
 You ve been really, um, good. So far. Good?  I suppose I should untie you.
Was I trying to make this into some kind of scene? God, what was wrong with
me?
He shook his head.
 No?
He stared straight ahead.
 Well, okay. But if it gets uncomfortable, or if you decide you want to eat, let me
know.
I put the Cokes in the cup holders and my sandwich in my lap and set the bag on
the console between us.
We continued on our silent way.
I called Sayida and told her I wouldn t be at the show tonight because I had to
deal with an emergency.
She didn t ask questions.  I ll put the word out to the box office. They can start
calling people.
 You re canceling?
214 J.A. Rock
 What else did you have in mind?
 Grady can probably call it. And Yale can be backstage.
She paused.  I ll talk to Grady. Trisky Campbell called a little while ago. She s en
route from her conference.
 Shit, I said.  I mean sorry. Didn t mean to 
 I ve heard the word before, Jesse. I ll call Trisky and let her know there s been a
change in plans. Do you know when you ll be back?
 No idea.
I really hadn t given too much thought to what was going to happen when we
reached Mineral. I figured I could fly back to Hollander, if Sim was going to be staying
home for a while.
 All right. You take care of what you need to take care of. I ll handle everything
else.
 Thanks, I said, hoping she could gather from my tone the extent of my
gratitude.
I hung up.
 I don t get you, Sim said after a few minutes. The sound of his voice startled me.
 I don t matter enough for you to call me your boyfriend. But you d miss the show and
your interview to drive me home?
 Like I said, it d be unsafe for you to be on the road.
 I m fine, he said.  You can pull over and let me drive.
 With your wrists tied you won t be able to keep your hands at ten and two.
He didn t answer. I figured that meant I should quit being a jackass and say what
was really on my mind.
 Whatever idiot things I said yesterday, I hope you know you matter more to me
than a show. Or an interview.
 I didn t know that, he said quietly.
Calling the Show 215
For a second I was angry. He was trying to make me feel shitty, right? He couldn t
possibly think&
But what had I done to convince him otherwise?
 Well, you do, I said.  And I m sorry I was such a jerk.
 Me too. Sorry I pressured you. I m not usually so&  He trailed off, and I waited
until I was pretty sure he didn t intend to finish the sentence.
 Yes?
 Clingy. I don t need a boyfriend. And I miss my parents sometimes, but I don t,
like, try to make them want me.
Want him? Of course they wanted him, fuckholes though they might be. He was
their son.
 I just really like you, he said.
Scary words. Present tense. But I d be the biggest liar in the Southeast if I didn t
admit I liked the shit out of him too.
 Did you ever see Voice of the Turtle? I asked.  It was a play, and then they made
it into a movie. This guy Bill loves this girl Sally. She loves him too, but they re both too
afraid of their feelings to commit.
 Also the plot of every romantic comedy ever.
 Anyway. I guess I m Bill. Or Sally.
He sort of laughed.  Don t say that because you feel sorry for me.
 I don t. I mean, I m sorry about what happened to your mom. But I m mostly
sorry for myself, because I fucked up the chance to be with you.
This was, I hoped, the part where he told me I hadn t screwed up the chance. But
he extended his arms and clasped one of the Cokes in both hands, like one of those claw
pickup tools, and drank. Then he told me to get on I-64 East. Then he fell asleep with his
head against the window.
216 J.A. Rock
Chapter Twenty-One
Jesse
We stayed with Sim s sister and her husband. We didn t get to Mineral until ten o
clock. I swore Sim would have walked into Niamh s house with his wrists taped
together if I hadn t insisted on cutting the bonds. He didn t even wince when the tape
pulled his arm hair.
Niamh gave us some hummus and chips and wine. Al was already in bed. I tried [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]