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Everything he did seemed to make things worse between them. He pushed his hand through
his hair, unable to stay still and silent under the other man s inspection.
 You have no reason to feel ashamed of anything.
It sounded like the truth when Marsdon said it. Bennett wished he could believe it.
But the facts were still the facts. Alphas had to act like alphas.
Marsdon tucked a knuckle under his chin and guided him to look him straight in the
eye.
 I am not ashamed of you, Marsdon said. That sounded like the truth too.
Bennett couldn t think of anything to say in response.
His mate continued to study him for what felt like hours.  Are you ashamed of me for
the way I acted in the club? Marsdon asked in the end.
 No! Bennett met his eyes and repeated his answer more softly.  No. You didn t do
anything wrong.
 I did nothing to make us act more like equals, Marsdon said.  The rules I set, the
orders I gave, they were all about making sure you were the submissive. You weren t alone
in that club jacking yourself off, pup. There were two wolves in the room. We re both
responsible for whatever happened in there maybe me even more than you.
Bennett folded his arms across his chest, only just stopping himself short of wrapping
his arms around himself in an effort to keep it together.
 An alpha receives the submission of other wolves, he said, his voice hoarse with
emotion.  You can t be blamed for accepting what was offered to you. There was no way you
could have known I was supposed to be& that I am&  He closed his eyes not even able to
bring himself to label himself an alpha when nothing he did reflected that.
 You proved you were an alpha, Bennett. The whole pack saw it. You can t still doubt
yourself after everything that happened in that circle.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA Kim Dare
82
He could lead the other wolves. He knew that. But he hadn t proved a damn thing to
the man he really needed to convince. The man he really needed to gain the respect and
acceptance of.
 I ll get better, Bennett promised.  I ll learn how to be a good mate for you. He d
said it so often, he was thoroughly fed up with hearing it himself. He could only imagine
how much like a lie it must sound to his mate.
Marsdon sighed and stepped closer to him.  I won t ask you to submit to me. I know
you can t do that right now. But there is something else you can do that would please your
mate a great deal. He said it all so carefully, as if he thought Bennett might spook and run at
any moment.
Bennett quickly nodded his agreement to do whatever it was, not caring what
Marsdon might ask of him. Anything that didn t make him feel useless was a blessing to be
cherished.
He should have asked for details.
Threading his fingers into his hair, Marsdon guided Bennett to bow his head and rest
his forehead on his mate s shoulder. Bennett tensed, instinctively pulling away from him.
 Marsdon& ?
 It s not submission, Marsdon whispered in his ear.  Just rest close against your mate
for a moment. There s no weakness in that. There s no shame in it. Just let your mate hold
you close for a moment.
Bennett forced his body to cooperate with his mate s wishes. He rested his head on his
master s shoulder. With each breath Marsdon took, his body shifted slightly under Bennett s
forehead. The rhythm was there, tempting Bennett to think back to the club when everything
was so simple.
 Try to relax, Marsdon coaxed. He rested his hand on the back of Bennett s head,
silently telling him that his head was exactly where it should be.
He couldn t follow his master s order. If he relaxed he would forget everything he had
to remember in order to be a good alpha. If anything the coaxing only made him more tense,
less able to please his mate than ever.
Marsdon s fingers stroked his hair a few more times.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA Kim Dare
83
The silence of the barn surrounded them. Bennett stayed frozen where he was,
desperate to reach out and wrap his arms around his mate in turn, but unable to do that. The
uncertainty of what he was allowed to do now that he wasn t bound swirled around with his
confusion over what would be seen as submissive compared to proper behaviour for an
alpha with his mate.
He wanted to hold Marsdon close and be held close in return, but he couldn t risk that
being the instinct of a pup rather than a leader.
Marsdon hugged him a fraction tighter before he finally gave up on him and stepped
back.
Bennett stood where he was, waiting for his verdict.
 We can work it all out, Marsdon promised. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]