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hardly contributed anything herself. I pretended to listen,
but really I tuned them out. At this point, my plan was to
stay as long as necessary to be polite, and then take the first
opportunity to leave.
Oh, my God, Hunter is such a fag! said Dade suddenly.
That perked me up.
Did you see that shirt? Dade went on. He looked like
a pirate!
A gay pirate! said Savannah.
A gay pirate from the sixties, said Alexis. It was tie-
dyed, people. Tie-dyed!
And don t get me started on all his little friends, added
Dade. I see them prancing down the hallways on their
way to play rehearsal.
Leah didn t say anything. Suddenly it was absolutely
imperative that she rearrange the plastic monsters on one
of her shelves. That said, at least she didn t look like a
relaxed cat anymore. 99
Why do they have to go to our school anyway? said
Savannah. I thought they had their own high school.
Harvey Mink or something.
Milk, said Dade. And that s in New York.
So? said Savannah. Why can t they go there? We can
ship all the fags to New York, then we can blow up the
bridges, like what they did to all the criminals in that movie
Escape from New York.
I glared at Leah, but she was snapping a tiny plastic
bat back onto Dracula s shoulder, so she didn t notice.
Meanwhile, her friends didn t notice my bug-eyed
expression either, because they were still ignoring me, as
if I didn t even exist.
Leah had to know I was upset by her friends rank
homophobia. How could she not be upset? So why didn t
she say something? However, no matter how hard I glared
at her, she wouldn t even look up.
100
CHAPTER SEVEN
Here s the thing. I wasn t that upset with Leah s
friends for making those antigay comments. Yes, they were
stupid and bigoted, but that was about what I expected 101
from people like them.
What upset me was that Leah didn t say anything that
she still wasn t saying anything.
My eyes were lasers burning into her head. She fiddled
with her mummy now, which was ironic, because in my
mind she d turned into something of a monster herself.
At last she turned to face her friends.
Did you guys know there s no evidence that pirates ever
made anyone walk the plank? she said loudly. Which isn t
to say they didn t throw a lot of people overboard.
Nice try, I thought. Changing the subject, however, is
the same as not saying anything.
Uh, that s real interesting, said Alexis. But what the
hell does that have to do with anything?
Nothing, said Leah. You guys just mentioned pirates.
Gay pirates! said Savannah. We were talking about
Hunter and his faggy friends.
I still didn t speak up, even though it was killing me not
to. I had to see if Leah ever would. It was a test of sorts.
Well, said Leah, trying again to change the subject,
he doesn t have anything on Loren. The guy has, what,
one T-shirt?
Someone told me it s not all the same shirt, said
Dade. He has, like, ten identical ones.
102 That s true! said Savannah. He sits in front of me in
English, and there s this yellow stain on the neck. But it
only shows up once every two weeks!
In other words, this time it worked, and the subject
really did change. Leah never had said anything about the
antigay comments.
Dade and the others kept chattering on about boys, and
clothes, and TV shows. By the time they rose to leave
twenty minutes later, no one had even noticed that in all
the time since they d made those homophobic comments,
I still hadn t said one word.
Okay, said Leah as they were leaving. Bye! See you
soon.
They left, and Leah and I were alone.
I cleared my throat.
Don t start, said Leah.
Don t start what? I said. I didn t sound nearly as inno-
cent as I d intended.
Look, you didn t say anything either.
This made me mad. Because I was waiting to see if
you would! Because I thought you would jump all over
me if I did!
She fell straight back on her bed. Min, she said
wearily, I already told you. I m not ready to come out.
This has nothing to do with coming out! I shouted.
We had officially reached the outburst stage. This has to 103
do with not tolerating bigotry!
Yeah, well, in this case, it s the same thing.
Let me get this straight. If you d called them on
those stupid jokes, they would have thought you were a
lesbian?
Maybe! Between that and finding me alone in my
room with you.
The girl with purple hair.
Yes! The girl with purple hair! I keep explaining this to
you, and you say you understand, but you never do!
I fumbled for the door. I can t talk about this right now.
I need to think.
Fine, said Leah. Go think. While you re gone, I ll
think too!
I slammed her door on the way out.
I had already left the house and was in my car before I
realized that I was still wearing her coat.
I was too mad to think; it was all I could do to keep my
hands on the wheel as I drove home.
A few minutes after setting out, however, I passed a
familiar car. I was sure it was Kevin s. I don t know why I
cared, but I couldn t help but wonder where he was going
on a Friday night.
104 I was still too furious with Leah to think about the
whole situation with her. Kevin s car, however, suddenly
gave me something else to focus on. I clung to it like a
boulder in the middle of a raging current.
I needed direction, and Kevin s car gave me some, so I
turned my car around and followed his.
He pulled into the lot of a deserted park. A playground of
sand abutted a soccer field. Beyond the playground, next to
a greenbelt, a picnic gazebo rose from a strip of grass.
I parked my car on a side street and watched as Kevin
hurried across the park toward the gazebo. I recognized
this place. It s where Russel and Kevin used to meet when
they were still going out. Russel had pointed it out to me.
That had to be why Kevin had come here now: to ren-
dezvous with Russel. They must have made plans to meet
just like before.
Were they getting back together again? Suddenly I
understood why Russel had been so distracted lately. But
what about Otto? Was Russel planning on leaving him?
I thought about the conversation I d had with Otto the
day before, how he had reminded me so much of Russel.
Otto and Russel were perfect together. Kevin, meanwhile,
was a selfish weasel.
There wasn t anyone waiting for Kevin under the picnic 105
gazebo. He had beat Russel here.
I desperately needed to talk to Kevin before Russel
arrived. I slipped out of my car and started toward the
gazebo. I passed the playground of sand, which had a jun-
gle gym made up of two sets of a monkey bars one in the
shape of a teepee, one in the shape of a wagon. The sun had
set long ago, and the park had no streetlamps, so everything
was dark. I was struck by how different everything looked at
night. Nothing had texture or shade; everything was either
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